Love and Life

So I want to give a shout out to all those who have lost a love one. Recently I have had a few loved ones in my life pass, to a better place. I know that eventually we all lose someone but anytime it happens it is not easy. Even if you have gone through it before it. Just because you have been here before doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt just as bad. So my heart and prayers go out to all of you and I hope that I can become better like those that have lived before me.

Value your life because you never know how long you have. Have no regrets and live to learn, learn to live. Live life to the fullest. Take for granted what you have. You may need it. Love life be prepared for anything but take control of your life and LIVE.......

Killing Becky

Okay so we all have those really wierd dreams and vivid ones well I think this tops the cake....

So it starts out with me and my friend Becky in middle school but we are the same age that we are now. well Becky had to do a report on Ahkmenrah (dont know how to spell it). Well i thought she did a good job but this teacher got mad and said it wasn't true and desided to go dig up Ahkmenrah. well when she did he got really pissed off and killed her and her team and looked at this list of people in our school that had done reports on him. Then he decided he was going to kill those ten people and Becky was like fourth on the list. He came to Becky's house and left a copy of the list to warn her and it had his symbol on it. Well she wasn't there so he left it with her sister.
So Becky and I are driving around freaking out not knowing what to do when we decide to call Ed becuase it was like he knew all about him or something. Well we asked Ed if there was a way to kill Ahkmenrah. Ed said not untill he was done with his list why? We freaked out again and met up with Ed to tell him that Becky was number four on the list.
Ed told us that Becky couldn't drive because if she drove the mummy would be able to track her down that someone else needed to drive. Seo we decided to go to Pennsilvania to meet this profesor who had spent his whole life on the stories of Ahkmenrah. When we got there the professor was a kid we had gone to grade school with in an old mans body. He told us of some ways that we could possibly kill him but not sure fire ways.
All of the sudden we were back in Utah in the canyons with the mummy heading our way and Becky on a cliff above us while we tryed to kill him. Becky then told us that it was no use she was going to die and she knew it. She wasn't scared and she calmly took a blue and pink sparkly pencil out of her pocket and erased the name off of the list as if she was erasing her life or something. As soon as she did that Ahkmenrah turned around and left Becky yelled aren't you going to kill me and he shook his head no. Since she was off the list he was done with her or something....
Somebody tell me what this means. Why can't i remember the cool dreams the important dreams so vivadly. I can remember colors and cars and faces and the old parchment of the list and the symbol really weird. What does it mean?

Talk about being stupid

So if anyone wants to know how to be stupid and make everyone of your different friends hate you listen to this, because when I put my foot in my mouth I like to jump in with both feet.

Number one...
I have this friend who's husband is in the navy and me being me decided to go off about how all guys in the navy are gay. I am sure you guys know all the jokes well she is pregnant and is a very sensitive person and i am a total retard.

Number two...
I was at the store with one of my friends and was talking about my cousins who are half mexican. I happened to make a comment about a nickname we used to call my cousin Brenda, (now mind you she had no problem with it but yeah). Well i preceded to tell my freind the nickname and it is a racial slurr against mexicans and there was this maxican family in line behind us who got mad and went to a different line wait to go me...

Number three...
So I have these new neighbors and I know nothing about the Jewish religion just that they don't celebrate christian holidays and they eat funny foods. Well I made a comment while I was at there house about the new Mell Gibbson movie yeah smart one there. Then I asked them if they celebrated easter what the hell is wrong with me... I have no idea. So I warn you if you are sensitive stay out of my way because I am good at messing up and just shooting out the ole pie hole....

Have a nice day :-)

High Low

Me being a nerd and by the way Darth Mal you are hot!!!












So here I am at 3 in the morning once again wondering what to do and really wanting to talk to some one and realized that i guess the computer will do. As much fun as it is to make love to a computer people are much better at it... As i sit here and listen to my i tunes and download more songs (not like I really need more what am I thinking) I wonder what it would be like to discover things no one has ever discovered before. Yeah I am not tired and you all get to suffer for any of you who actually sit here and read this.
So I am going to tell you the highs and lows of this week.

Highs here we go... I went to work out last night and because of being on so many freakin meds. I am on this new diet that I like to call the pregnant diet so I have lost like ten more pounds than i needed to. Now I need to bulk up. Other highs I am going to be a total nerd and join the Alpine Garrison ( for all those non nerds out there give me a buzz i will tell you what it is lol), and on Saturday I went to the kids safty fair and wanted to make out with darth Mal because he was so freakin hot even though you the horns would probably get in the way and man that lightsaber need I say more ha wow. I made out with a random guy because I am totally on the rebound and just wanted to kiss someone I guess and it was totally funny, awkward and great now that that is out of my system lol. Oh and I am getting back into Martial arts I so rule oh yeah you better run now boy.

Ok now some lows. i nicked my leg really bad the other night when shaving and it really hurt because it was in a sensitive spot. I made a couple people fight with each other which I could probably put that in the highs too lol. It snowed again. I can't golf (because it snowed). and I ripped a hole in my superman g's damn.

Well that is pretty much it for my ever exciting life yall have fun in blog land LOVE YA!!!

Poems

Ok so not many people have heard these but I was told that they were really good, I think those people were lying. Most of these were written in a really dark time in my life and I got out by putting it on paper so read with caution. LOL

Confusion

I don't understand this anger inside,
why will he get mad at me but then hide.
Why wont he talk , why wont he share,
it's seems as if he just doesn't care.

I say to much I know this is true,
I just want us to be happy not blue.
I want him to be happy, I want him to smile,
for that treasure and joy I have not witnessed in a while.

I feel the darkness deep within,
the kind that is there beneath your skin.
When will it snap, when will it break free,
I am not sure thats something I want to see.

I am here for him, he doesn't understand,
I reach for him and grab his hand,
instead he turns away from me again.
Alone in the darkness where i have always been.

Someone, somewhere set us free,
from this ever dying misery.
Oh please i am begging to have help to get out,
I want a reason to stop this bout.
Please!!!


Like I said sad and dark but there it is beware there are more lol

Time

If time stood still, would I stand still with it?
Would I be there wondering where time had gone and done?
or would it be just a matter of time,
till life fast forward.
But if life fast forward, would we all stop questioning,
Why, What, How, or When?
Won't question the why or the how, when the what is right in front of you!!!


Tears

At one time I thought the stars were for me,
but it was just false, just a dream.
I awoke to a cruel reality,
Life; my life, what i had thought was myth was myth.
A pasifist living an activists life!!!
Or so I thought.
Only to realize my life had passed by me.
So now I sit here wondering what more could go wrong,
Oh but i was so off there so much more could.
WHAT WAS I THINKING.


Hands of my Angels

I have placed you in the hands of my angels,
to watch over you,
with all of the love i have in my heart
may they comfort you with their guiding love,
and surround you with a protective light, that will show you the way.
I have asked that they stay with you,
through this troubled time to make it less painful,
just as they have done at times for me.
I have placed you in the hands of my angels,
May they watch over you,
With all the love I have in my heart.

Poems done by Brittany S. Nester

See was that to sad? LOL have fun all you out in blogger land.

Changes

So due to some of my friends telling me that like every third one in my 100 was depressing, desperate, loserish, foolish, nonconvincing, and probably more but thats what was told to my face. I decided to go through and edit it and Make it Bigger Better and Uncut. Thats me and for all of you who read it and think it still stinks well lets see you do better...And yes I think that I am self concious about me.....